


Fight.

by Fishyz9



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 09:52:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17242088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fishyz9/pseuds/Fishyz9
Summary: Levi and Nico have their first significant fight. Levi waits until midnight at New Years to see how permanent this separation might be.





	Fight.

I never imaged that a fight with Nico could be so upsetting, but then again it’s more or less all my fault. All I know is that work has been intense, we’ve gone through an annoying stretch without seeing much of each other, what you might call a _dry spell_ , and frustrations and tensions finally boiled over into an argument…after what was admittedly a sizeable screw up on my behalf.  I know I’d like to say that it was just Nico overreacting or being excessively passive aggressive, but that’s not the case. I done messed up.  

We both snapped. And what sucks is that now I’m fretting. Did I get too comfortable? Did I forget the very obvious good fortune of someone like Nico Kim setting his sights on me? I must have, and what’s the most frustrating is that the point he was trying to make was that he simply missed me.

I mean how charming is that? Even when he’s furious with me he’s got me fanning myself like some sort of southern bell. And it’s not even like he was being clingy or he doesn’t understand the dedication our schedules require, of course he does. He just… he wanted to be put first, and I didn’t do that.

I fell at the first hurdle, it appears. We had a small window to spend some time together, where I was going to meet him at a restaurant halfway across town (lord knows that hospital policy doesn’t make our attempting to spend time together easy) and I got caught up at work.

Except, when I say caught up at work… I scrubbed in on a surgery with Doctor Grey, a simple appendectomy that should have been quick and easy, in and out. I would have been late but probably still could have made it to the restaurant for dessert at least. Except we got talking afterwards, shop talk, really, and it was like I was being spoken to by another Doctor as an actual equal for the first time instead of just a grunt, a nobody, the guy who dropped his glasses into a patient. Time got away from me.

This was the legendary Meredith Grey, a doctor who has seen and done it all. A Doctor who has just by herself, nearly been blown up in this hospital, was nearly _shot_ in this hospital, went down in a plane crash travelling to _another_ hospital and lived to not only tell the tale, but went on to win a Harper freakin’ Avery. That is a level of badassery I can only aspire to. And she was talking to me, _blood bank_.

Not only that, but she was talking to me like I belonged here. I’m not saying I desperately seek out validation from my peers everywhere I look, I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t good enough, but that was the first time I’d felt like I _deserved_ to be here. Anyway, before I knew it, she was glancing at her watch and telling me that she had to go pick up the kids, and that’s when I realised I’d left Nico sitting alone in that restaurant without so much as a text message to say I was running late.

I did that. I stood up Nico. Lovely Nico with his encouraging smiles, his gorgeous dark eyes, his perfect, strong arms which give big, safe hugs… I left him sitting in a restaurant, feeling embarrassed and unimportant.

I’M A _JERK_ IS WHAT I AM.

It kills me that he looked so fancy and dressed up, too. When I caught up to him in the parking lot of the restaurant? It was easy to ignore the hurt I saw in his eyes at the time because we were arguing with each other, but now that I’m being honest with myself, he was so obviously wounded by my lack of chivalry, my lack consideration…

oOo

He taps his keys against his thigh, trying to avoid eye contact as he leans against his car. “You couldn’t have called?”

“What would I have said? _‘Nurse, please call me secret boyfriend to tell him I’ll be late to dinner’_ come one…”

“I guess.” He concedes, tilting his head, still not wanting to meet my gaze.

 I step forward, tugging his leather jacket playfully as I lean into him and dip my head to catch his eyes. “Hey, I’m sorry. There’ll be other dinners…”

He snorts. “Will there?”

“I know we’ve both been kind of busy, but it’ll get easier soon enough. We just need to get through this year.”

He looks me in the eye, gives me a half-hearted smile for my benefit only. “I guess it is pretty cool that Doctor Grey tapped you for this one.”  He reaches to affectionately turn down the part of my collar that, in my haste to get here I didn’t even realise was sticking up. “The other interns better watch out, Schmitt’s on the rise.”

I smile at that. “It was so cool, Nico. And after? She was talking to me about when she was an intern and about her first surgeries; I mean talk about a wealth of experience and knowledge. And just to be spoken to like a doctor and not a dogsbody? Oh my gosh…”

“That’s not a bad role model to pick, not bad at all.” His smile actually reaches his eyes as he takes in my excitement, which unfortunately just encourages me to keep babbling.

“We talked for ages; she even said I reminded her of her friend, George. I don’t know who that is but if they’re friends then I’ll take it, you know?”

Except his smile has slipped away and he’s watching me now with a slightly guarded expression. “Talking for ages?”

I feel something drop in my stomach. “Well, maybe not ages, but…”

He stands up straight against his car, forcing me to take a step back from where I’d been leaning into him. “What was the procedure?”

“It… it was an appendectomy.”

I see his jaw clench and he shoves his hands into his pockets, glancing away for a second. “I’m assuming keyhole?”

“Yeah?”

He lets out a humourless laugh and shakes his head. “A keyhole appendectomy with Meredith Grey at the helm? That’s a thirty, forty minute surgery tops, Levi. Tell me again why you couldn’t send me just a text message during your heart to heart with Doctor Grey?”

“Nico…come on,” I say, trying to reach for his jacket again. I’m almost startled when he brushes my hands away; he’s never done that before.

“A thirty minute surgery… and you leave me sitting alone inside a restaurant for more than two hours without so much as a head’s up that you’re running late.” He watches me, swallows and then shrugs. “That’s how high I rank in the scheme of things, is it?”

“Hey, come on that’s not fair. You know –”

“No _not fair_ is being stared at and pitied by strangers because I got stood up by my boyfriend.”

“I didn’t ‘stand you up’, that implies it was intentional! I told you, time got away from me and I just got caught up talking medicine…”

“One text, Levi. One text and I would have understood. I would have even picked up takeout so I could meet you back at mine and hear all about in person. If you’d just cared enough to give me that one small courtesy –”

“Now you’re just being dramatic!”

He squints at me. “ _Dramatic_?”

“You _know_ how hard I have to work, and I don’t just mean as an intern, I mean as the screw-up runt of the litter. I am a joke to everyone in that hospital. _Everyone_. I will forever be _glasses_ or _blood bank_ unless I step it up and make myself seen. I saw an opportunity and took it.”

“And everyone else be damned?”

“Exactly!”

He doesn’t say anything, just looks at me. Hurt.

“No, I…” I say softly, remorseful as I reach for his hands. “I don’t mean you, I just –”

He discretely pulls his hands away, averting his gaze from mine. “I’m making a total ass of myself here, aren’t I?”

“ _No_ , of course not.”

“Yes, I am.” His laugh is quiet and empty as he turns away for a second. He looks down at his hands as he fiddles with his keys. “I’m going home now.” He says quietly.

I anxiously grab at his arm. “Wait, Nico please, come on…I-I’m sorry. I’m not trying to make you feel unimportant, I’m just panicking and screwing up my words, I…”

 He shakes his head. “Let’s just talk about it tomorrow, Levi.”

“No, no because this feels like a breakup and if I Iet you go now then you might not want to speak to me tomorrow.”

“That’s not what this is.” He says softly, but he won’t look me in the eye.

My heart begins to pound and to my absolute horror I feel a stinging in my eyes. How did I screw so badly, so quickly? “W-what was I supposed to do? Turn down a chance like that for _cheesecake_?”

I know the second it pops out of my mouth that it was the dumbest thing I could have possibly said.

His eyes shoot up to meet mine, incredulous. “ _Cheesecake_?”

“I…I didn’t mean that how it sounded, Nico, god someone shut me up…”

“I booked a table at this restaurant because they do the best tiramisu in Seattle, because you said that was your favourite desert…” He shakes his head. “All I wanted was take you out, buy you dinner, spend some time with you and… goddamn _cheesecake_?”

“I’m sorry,” I say again, my voice breaking slightly when I can sense this evening, this whole relationship circling the drain. “I’m sorry that I’m so bad at this, I…”

“Do me a favour, don’t call me for a while, don’t text me and just give me some space.”

“Please don’t go like this, Nico I’m so sorry…”

He turns to get in his car but stops just before he climbs in. “I have _never_ thought of you as a joke. Not ever. To me, you were just Levi.”

I swallow hard. “Were?” I ask quietly, terrified that the stinging in my eyes might brim over at any moment.  

 He looks at me, not saying anything. Finally he looks away, gets into his car and just drives away. I stand there in the parking lot, staring after him.

oOo

I know he said to give him space, but I freaked. The idea that I’d hurt someone I adore so much was torturing me. The idea that he may never speak to me again, might not ever look at me in the same way again…it breaks my heart.

It was two days ago, and despite his request I’ve tried calling him no less than five times and have sent several unanswered texts. No response. Today it almost broke me. I saw him, finally. I was standing in the elevator, waiting for the door to close and then there he was, walking towards me. But the second he looked up and saw me his steps faltered, he paused, and then he turned, heading towards the stairwell instead. I watched, my heart sinking as the elevator doors closed.

I didn’t report to where I was supposed to, instead I headed towards the nearest on call room, locked the door and furiously wiped away the tears of a stupid, pathetic idiot. He didn’t even want to stand next to me on an elevator. _My_ Nico. I screwed up and now the most meaningful thing I’ve ever experienced was gone.

Tonight is New Year’s Eve, and I’m practically sweating as I stare at the clock with only ten minutes to go before midnight. It’s the Hospital annual New Year’s Gala. Before the fight, before my epic failure as a boyfriend –or decent human being– we’d made plans to go together incognito. We were going to hangout casually, which wouldn’t be looked upon as strange given how often I work on Ortho now, but the plan was to slip away at midnight for a New Year’s kiss, our first.

I knew it was a longshot but I’m here anyway, in a stupid tux, ignoring everyone, staring at the clock. I swallowed my very last ounce of pride and sent him one final text earlier today…

_I’ll make this the last message, I promise. I just wanted to say again how sorry I am. The idea that I was so thoughtless and made you feel like an afterthought is killing me. I hate that I did that to you, and I hate that it seems like I’ve ruined everything. You’re the best thing to ever happen to me, and I want you to know that you’ve made me happier in the past few months than I even realised was possible. If that’s over now then I’ll learn to accept that. I just need to know for sure that it is? Because if there’s even the slightest chance that I can fix this then please let me know how and I’ll do it. I miss you. I miss talking to you. I miss you smiling at me. I miss your voice. Please let me be near you again._

_Please allow me this one mistake. I’m better than this. I can be better. I love you more than my actions have led you to believe. I’m sorry for hurting you and I’m sorry that the first and possibly only time I’ll get to say I love you is in a stupid essay-length text._

_If you want to work this out then just come to the Gala like we planned. Be there before midnight. You don’t have to answer this text if you don’t want to, I’ll just wait for you and if you don’t come tonight then I’ll accept that as your answer and I promise I’ll leave you be. I won’t call. I’ll take the stairs at work, the elevators are yours. I’ll make every effort to stay away from Ortho. I won’t even look at you if that’s what you need. But please come._

Eleven fifty six and he’s not here. I feel tears prickling my eyes. He’s not coming, he’s really not coming. I don’t know why, but I thought he would.

Making my way slowly to an empty, somewhat concealed spot, I more or less hide when I hear the countdown begin. I don’t want anyone to see me when the clock strikes midnight. I clutch my glass of now tepid wine tight in my hand and listen to the people I work with counting down to what feels like the end of something.

I hear everyone cheering, a familiar tune playing, and I force myself to lift my gaze from the floor and look around one last time to see if he’s here.

He’s not.

I close my eyes tightly, taking a few deep breaths. I put my glass down on the nearest surface and push through the crowd. I hear someone call my name but I ignore them and shoulder my way through the throng of bodies. Inevitably, someone steps back into me and sends me tumbling. I catch myself on my hands and knees, my glasses flying god knows where. I feel who I assume to be the same person who knocked me over reach down to help me up, but I quickly shrug them off and carry on towards the exit as quickly as possible without actually running.

When I reach my car I fumble uselessly with my keys. My hands shake and I’m unable to make the key fit in the lock.

“Come on…” I say uselessly, my voice thick with tears which are just waiting to fall. When I drop my keys, it’s too much. I brace myself against the car with both hands. “Stop it.” I say under my breath. “Don’t cry. Do. Not. Cry.”

“Levi?”

I practically jump out of my skin. I turn and even without the my glasses I know it’s Nico. I know his shape, I know his voice, I can make out dark hair and eyes but in the dark and with tears fogging my vision that’s about all I can see.

“What are you doing?”

I crouch and feel for my keys, thankfully finding them straight away. “What does it look like?” I ask as I stand again. Hands and voice both trembling. “I’m going home.”

“No, I mean…that’s not your car.”

There’s a heartbeat of silence and then I turn back to look at what I thought was my car. I throw my hands up uselessly. “Just how many goddamn red 2001 Buicks can there possibly be in one parking lot?!”

“Just one, over there. The car you’re trying to unlock is a BMW, and it’s blue.”

I glance back at the car I thought was mine. “Oh.” I turn back to Nico. “I lost my glasses.” I say in explanation.

“The band snap?”

I clench my jaw. “No, I didn’t wear a band. I-I wanted to look nice tonight, so no band.”

“You do look nice,” he says in that low, comforting voice of his. It absolutely rubs me the wrong way and before I know what I’m doing I take a few rushed steps forwards and shove him hard in the chest. He moves but a fraction of an inch but it still takes him by surprise.

“Levi!”

“ _Why didn’t you come_?” I demand, though the tremble in my voice ruins any chance of sounding like I’m holding my crap together. “If you weren’t going to come then you should have just said that, screw my text. Instead you made me wait in a crowded room of people for me to realise that I’d officially been _dumped_. Have you any idea how much that hurts? What was it, some sort of payback? I stood you up so you’re standing me up?”

His hands suddenly grip my upper arms, jolting me in a way that stops my ramble. “I’m _here_ aren’t I?”

I shake him off. “You’re too late! I poured my heart out in that message, in _every_ message you ignored. I _humbled_ myself. You don’t show up late when someone tries for a romantic last ditch effort at saving a relationship!”

“You do if your car won’t start!” He snaps back.

I take a gulping breath. “…What?”

“I’m here, in a tux, and I would have been on time if my stupid car hadn’t refused to start. So forgive me for being a few minutes late but have you _any_ idea how difficult it is to get a cab or an Uber on _New Year’s Eve_?”

It’s odd to feel mortified and hopeful at the same time. “Oh?”

He sighs, shakes his head as he holds his hand out presumably for my keys. “We need to talk. I’ll drive us back to my place.”

“I can drive, just…point to my car again?”

“I’ll let you drive if you can tell me how many fingers I’m holding up.”

I squint. “…Three.”

“I’m not holding up any fingers Levi now give me the goddamn keys.”

I can’t argue with that. “It is dark, you know.” I say sheepishly as I hand them over.

“Uh huh.” He turns me gently towards where I presume my car is, his hand at the small of my back guiding me. “One second,” he says quietly, opening the door to the passenger side for me. “Mind your head.” This is what being a gentleman is, I should take note.

He starts the engine. “I think you have a spare set of glasses in the nightstand back at my place.”

“That’s right, I do.”

The car ride is a quiet one. My mind racing a mile a minute while I assume Nico is thinking of exactly what it is he wants to say. Either way, whatever comes next needs to be said in a private, stationary space, so we remain quiet.

I feel awkward when we get to his apartment. I mean more than my typical level of awkwardness. Usually I’d breeze on through and make myself at home; I wouldn’t dare do that now. I stand inside the doorway uncomfortably as he shucks off his tux jacket. When he glances back at me he does a barely noticeable double take, and I’m not sure what the expression on my face says, but he takes my hand which clutches my opposite elbow and pulls me forward a step, turning me so I have my back to him. A second later he’s sliding my tux jacket down my shoulders.

“You’re not a stranger here, don’t act like it.” He says softly.

“I’m just not sure how welcome I am, that’s all.”

“You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t.”

Fair point. “Mind if I go get my glasses?”

“Of course.”

I make my way to the bedroom, and when I’m in there, I won’t lie, I deliberately take my time. Fearing it might be the last time I see what I’ve come to think of as my safe haven, I let my hand trail over the pillow and perch on the side of the mattress. Making love in this bed will forever be one of the greatest experiences of my life.

“Levi?” He calls.

“Coming.” I answer, pulling open the draw and fishing out my spare glasses. Everything suddenly snaps into focus.

When I walk back into the living room I stop short when I see him sitting perched on the sofa, his hands clasped loosely together as he waits for me. The bow tie around his neck slack and the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbows.

“What?”

I shake my head. “Nothing, just…I couldn’t see properly before. You look really handsome in a tux.”

He gives me a small smile. “You too.”

I look down at myself without thinking. “It’s rented.”

One of his cheeks dimples in an attempt to not smile. “Of course it is.”

“Can I…before we start, can I just say one more time, in person, how sorry I am for my part in this…at…at the restaurant?”

He nods his head. “I know.”

“And for shoving you.”

He almost grins. “It’s ok.”

I nod back. “Ok then.” I sit beside him, take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Go ahead.”

Oddly enough he does the same. “What was that thing you used to say, about my face? No, it was my jaw…”

I frown at the unexpected question. “Uh… _oh_ , that it looks like it was chiselled by Jesus.”

He lets out a small laugh. “That’s right, weirdo.” He says affectionately.

“It does.” I shrug. “Why?”

“All of my adult life, I seem to have given off the impression that I’m a…love ‘em and leave ‘em type. Because of how I look, I guess.”

I gesture at him. “You mean on account of the James Bond-like, Brad Pitt _wishes_ he was this good-looking looks?”

He cracks a small smile. “I’m being serious.”

I shrug. “And I’m not?”

“Anyway,” he carries on. “That’s not me. Not even close, in fact sometimes I wish it was but I am in fact…believe it or not, the more insecure of the two of us sitting here.” He gestures between us.

I stare at him, unblinking. “I somehow seriously doubt that, but go on.”

“I’ve kind of touched on this before. But…the fact that I’m your first foray into the gay? It makes me super wary.”

“And it makes you rhyme.”

“ _Levi_.”

“Sorry. So you still think that I’m going to eventually lose interest and just move on?”

He takes a deep, frustrated breath and lets it out quickly. “Nothing _quite_ that insulting, but when I get stood up at a restaurant it’s hard not to think that you might –”

“Ok,” I cut across him, wincing. “Ok, that’s fair. I can see why you’d draw that conclusion.”

He watches me, opens his mouth to say something but stops himself. He looks away for a moment and then just blurts it out. “I am so into you it’s terrifying.” He says, tilting his head towards me without actually looking at me.

He stares at his interlocked fingers that hang between his knees. “I went into this flirting _hard_ because I…wanted you.” He shrugs helplessly. “I wanted you so bad. You have this sexy, high-strung nerd thing going on which gets me going like nothing else. And then to make it worse I got to know you and…and you’re just this… funny, sweet, warm guy, who’s brave as hell and so, _so_ smart…” he finally looks at me. “You’ve no idea what a knockout you are.”

I swallow hard, and answer quietly. “See, when you say it? You kind of make me feel it.”

He gives me a sad smile. “Good. But by that same token –”

“I’m never going to want anyone else, Nico.”

“You’ve never even kissed another guy, Levi…”

“I’m never going to want anyone else.”

“Every guy goes through his experimental phase, seeing what fits, sewing his oats, and there’s nothing wrong with that…”

“I’m never going to want anyone else.”

“And meanwhile I’m over here like an _idiot_ , feelings all over the place, wandering if it’s too soon to ask you to move in and if maybe we could get a cat or a hamster or something…”

I feel tears prick at my eyes and I let out a surprised, breathy laugh, my voice catching when I speak. “We could do that. I’d like that.”

“Because I’ve already sewed my oats, Levi. I’m over it. It was never really for me anyway, but I got it out my system. You haven’t...”

“So it wasn’t for you but you think it’s for me?  Nico, I’m never going to want anyone else.”

“Levi?” He says, clearly frustrated. “I need you to understand, I’m… I’m _Meg Ryan_.”

I stare at him. “Um…I’m sorry, no. I think I blacked out there for a second, it sounds like you said –”

“I am _not_ the love ‘em and leave ‘em guy. I am a romantic _sap,_ always have been. Go look at the movies I have queued up on Netflix,” he gestures at the TV. “They’re either all black and white or they have Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in them. I am a hopeless, romantic _freak_ of a man, Levi, and –”

“Nico, honey…” I say gently, my hand carefully reaching out to him.

“And all this time I thought of myself as the Tom. You know, nice guy, easy going and who’s kind of good looking but approachable? But _nope_ …” he stands, his hands slapping and pushing up against his thighs. “No this six foot one inch, Italian Korean _dude_ is one hundred percent the neurotic, overanalysing Meg only minus all the quirky and adorable stuff.”

“You’re not sitting where I am; this little breakdown is unexpectedly charming.”

 “What I am trying to say, is that…I…” He chews his lip, runs a hand through is hair in frustration before letting his arm fall slack against his side. He lets out a sigh and it’s the most melancholy sound. “I am so in love with you.” He says brokenly.

I stand, desperate to touch him but holding back for now. “Why do you sound so sad when you say that?”

“Because you left me alone in a restaurant for two hours, like it was nothing, like I’m nothing. _That’s_ the person I’m crazy about.”

I close my eyes and slowly fold back onto the sofa.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to beat a dead horse here, you explained yourself, I understand and I do accept your apology, but…”

“But what?”

He shrugs, sliding his hands into the pockets of his slacks. He looks so vulnerable it kills me. “I can’t get out of my head that that’s just a taste of how much this could hurt if it goes to hell. And perhaps… perhaps I’m stifling you?”

“You’re not.” I say with an assertive shake of my head. “I have no oats to sew.”

“And then the more I thought about it the more I realised that it wasn’t such a big deal; it was just a blip that should have resulted in a regular fight and then awesome makeup sex. But I…I reacted the way I did and…and I think that’s because I’m so into you.” He frowns slightly. “And that’s not fair to you; it’s confusing…”

I tilt my head. “I’ll give you that one.”

“I realised that when I read your last message. You said…” his eyes meet mine. “You said you’d humbled yourself?” He shakes his head sadly, pulls one of his hands out of his pocket to tap his chest. “I was humbled. I realised how bewildered and alone I’d left you…”

I feel a lump form in my throat. “You did.”

“And the way your face fell when I walked away from that stupid elevator…” His head tilts to one side and he winces. “I’m sorry I did that. It wasn’t planned, and you looked so crestfallen.”

I look away at that and quickly swipe the back of my hand across my cheek. “Yeah, jerk.” I say with a small, forced laugh. But it’s suddenly too much and my breath catches. I can’t look at him.

“Levi…” he says under his breath and suddenly he’s in front of me, hauling me up and into his arms. I clutch uselessly at his sides, his arms wrapping securely around my shoulders, his lips pressed into my hairline and my cheek resting where it belongs, against his shoulder. “Please don’t,” he says softly. “I’m sorry.”

“I think at this point it’s safe to say we’re both a couple of Megs.”

He laughs softly, clutching me closer and pressing kisses against my temple. “What am I going to do with you, huh?”

I pull back a fraction to look at him. “For one thing you’re going to stop doubting me. My restaurant fail aside have I given you any reason to doubt how I feel about you?”

“No, but that doesn’t mean –”

“It doesn’t make your concerns any less valid, I get that. But you’ve got to get out of your head and say some of this out loud to me. I’m fighting a losing battle if I don’t know what’s going on in that gorgeous noggin.”

He ignores the compliment. “I know.”

I grip his arms, looking up at him. “So we’re in agreement here, right? I can relax a little? No one’s breaking up today?”

“I was just trying to protect myself while attempting to figure out what’s fair to you…it got a little muddled.”

“No kidding, but that’s not an answer. We’re still together, right?” I let out a harsh breath, emotion brimming just beneath the surface. “Nico please…”

He brushes his thumbs either side of my jaw, a small frown creasing his brow. “I don’t think I could walk away from you now if I tried.”

I let out a deep breath, closing my eyes for a moment. “Ok, that’ll do for now, I mean you kind of sound like my prisoner, but…”

“I kind of am, but no chains or bars required, you know?”

I watch him, and then slowly slide my hands up his chest to rest either side of his neck so as to pull him down into a soft kiss. “You’re so much more than you let on. Who knew that such a gentle soul was hiding under all that smoulder.”

He winces. “I hate that I spiralled that much in front of you.”

“Don’t, it feels like the playing ground is a little more level now.”

“It does?”

“Yeah, turns out you’re as neurotic and human as the rest of us. Only with a jawline that looks like it was chiselled by Jesus, as you know.”

He laughs helplessly. “I love that you’re so weird.”

“Oh,” I push him back by the shoulders and hold him there. “And that’s another thing, you shouldn’t have heard ‘I love you’ from me for the first time in a damn text. And I shouldn’t have heard it from you when it looked like you were ready to throw yourself out of a window. Solution, mister, _now_.”

“Hmm,” he agrees with a nod. “And we missed midnight; I was really looking forward to ringing in the New Year with you.”

“I want a do over.”

“Me too.” He agrees. “What do you suggest?”

I look around us, biting my lip as I search for inspiration. “Ah, wait here.” I pat his chest and walk into the kitchen.

“What are you doing?”

When I come back I have his egg timer in my hand. “We’re still wearing tuxes, this just requires some imagination.” I turn the dial to thirty seconds and then set the ticking timer down on the coffee table. “Just pretend it’s nearly midnight.”

“I can’t wait that long.” He says, his hand cupping my jaw and pulling me forwards.

My hand on his arm stills him. I can’t help but smile at his impatience. “Just a little while longer.”

His other hand cups the other side of my neck, he brushes his nose alongside mine, his lips only a hairsbreadth away from mine. “No, I want you now.”

My hands grip his wrists and I wet my lips, my eyes falling closed. “Just a few more seconds.”

“Levi…”

My eyes open, meet his.

“I love you.” His soft but deep voice rumbles. Before I can answer and a second before the egg timer goes off he pulls me into his kiss. A helpless whimper escapes my lips and he deepens the kiss instantly, quite literally taking my breath away.

“Bed?” I manage to gasp out the one word.

He shakes his head, walking me back to the coach. “Too far.”

“Lay down.” I growl against his lips, his shirt bunched up in my fists. I climb over him, straddling him. My hands make quick work of the buttons of his shirt, his hands stroking along my thighs as he watches with that familiar smirk of his.

With his shirt open and his chest bare, I grunt in appreciation, biting my lip. His gaze is heated, when I lean down to kiss him he lifts his head to meet me partway, but my hand against his throat stops him just before our lips meet. He looks at me in question.

“I love you.”

Warmth, arousal and calm acceptance gaze back at me and a hand at the back of my neck pulls me into the kiss.

That’s how it should have been. He doesn’t know it yet but I’m moving my crap over here ASAP. I want fights, I want kisses, I want old black and white movies and every other kind of domestic normality with this man. I make myself a silent promise that this time next year; we’ll be ringing it in together, wearing our tuxes, at the Gala and out in the open for anyone who cares enough to see.

And maybe we’ll get a cat, or a hamster, or both. We can name them Meg and Tom.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
